houseThe Hubbs and I started looking at houses in the area.  Time to buy!  Time to buy!  That’s all I hear and, yes, we would love to take advantage of the housing market right now, but first we have to find something we like.  In doing all of this research, I have been thinking about my dream home – the home I would want to build if money were not an issue.  Why am I doing this?  Because I am unemployed (by the way, being unemployed is my reason for most of my quirky behaviors) and I’m just a dreamer, I guess. 

I would want TH to have his own “Man Room” since that’s what husbands seem to want these days.  I can’t figure out how wives are supposed to participate in the other “thing” husbands want all of the time if they have holed themselves up in a room where wives are not allowed (and I am not talking about football and artery-clogging greasy food – those are a close second).  My math isn’t so good, but I don’t think being in different rooms is going to cut it.  I see the “Man Room” as an inside tree-house-no-girls-allowed- fort of sorts.  I will make sure to loan him my old linens to cover up the windows and pad the floors.

 

Here are the rooms that I would want – for me:

 

1.  Jail:  This may seem antiquated, but I like the idea of a dungeon with a working toilet and air conditioning (I do have a heart, after all).  I see it as a place I can send children, visiting relatives and unruly guests the moment they become obnoxious or, more specifically, eat my ice cream without invitation.

 

2.  Napping Room:  This room is separate from the bedroom.  Its sole purpose is for napping.  I can usually fit in a nap on either Saturday or Sunday depending on our schedule and I would like a room where I can sleep on crisp sheets, in cool temperatures with sound-proof walls.  I can control the lighting and there is surround sound stereo for those waterfalls, bird chirps or other soothing sounds (now that I think of it, bird chirps are rather annoying.  Maybe I should go for purring cat noises or the whirring of an overheated computer).  And, after my nap the bed makes itself.  And no one can accuse me of stealing his pillow and drooling all over it.

 

3.  Brownie Room:  A room where there are always freshly made brownies.  Do I really need to explain this one?  I don’t know how the brownies get in there, but they are there.  Fudge ones and chocolate chunky ones and peanut butter bloppy ones and crunchy caramel ones and flaky cookie ones, etc.  This room will be adjacent to the ice cream room for ease of access.

 

4.  Thin Mirror Room: Ppppppffffff…who doesn’t want this room?  I wonder if there is a thin mirror that also enhances the size of your bust.  I’m sure this wouldn’t work for me.  Somehow my bust enhancing thin mirror would be a reject and make me stout with large nostrils.  I think this is much more practical than seeing your dead parents in a mirror as our dear Harry Potter does at school.

 

5.  Molting Room:  I can throw Destro into this room and he will emerge with not one loose hair on his body.  This room is highly effective in the spring/summer months when Destro steps out of his winter coat throwing the remnants all over my house.  I find what look like dead mice at first glance in corners, stuck under doors, flying through the air only to settle on my supper.  In this room, all of the dead rodent hairballs will be efficiently stripped from his body.  Instant 5 lb loss.

 

This is not it for my dream home.  There are other rooms that will fit right in like the “No Computer Problems Ever Room” and the “Completely Sterile Dust Free Room” (don’t ever put your husband in this last room unless you are done procreating).  This is by far the wishy-est of wish lists.  For now, I’ll be happy to find a house that has room for one girl, one boy (their books) and a hairy dog.

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