Classifieds

PRECOCIOUS PUPPIES

Two mainly purebred Shih Tzu puppies for sale.  Great coloring that won’t rub off.  They both have two eyes and evacuate their bowels regularly.  The male’s name is Bob and loves to chase after chewy toys and fingers.  The female’s name is Bobra and loves to sleep.  She can be playful if you pick her up and shake her for a few seconds.  Then, she will do a little dance.  Bob has had his shots and Bobra will be getting hers once she finishes nursing her second litter.  $650 each. Please call the number listed below for more information.  If Dawn answers, tell her you’re calling about the boat.

 

MOTORCYCLE

BMW K75, Only 3 years old.  Red leather seats with matching helmets.  Great condition.  Must see to believe.  Will blow your mind.  Can’t keep.  Need to sell fast.  Getting married.  Fiance doesn’t like bikes.  Need to sell fast before she leaves me. $2300.  Will use money to upgrade ring.  Promise.

 

ROOMMATE NEEDED

Looking for liberal WM to fill void.  Must like leopard print.  Must be ok with occasional nudity.  Heated pool.  Washer/dryer.  No private bath.  Email Steve at tittlemywinks@hotml.com.

 

COME DANCE WITH ME

I have choreographed performances for the impersonators of Madonna, Mary J, Wynonna and Neil Diamond.  Own and operate local studio offering dance lessons in hip hop, jazz, European rave, hypnotic trance, tap and ballroom.  I sell my own dance outfits and mix my own tapes (also for sale in my lobby/living room). Really hoping someone will call so I can pay the rent.  Will that person be you?  Swing by and drop in.  Address below.  Make sure to follow the dirt path to the right.  To the left is my dog cemetery.

 

ENGAGEMENT RING

Fiance is stupid.  Need to sell ring because we are not getting married.  He won’t get rid of the bike.  I am keeping Talladega tickets.  Ring is OK.  Will negotiate.  Price no lower than $250.  18K gold band, heart cut “diamond.”  Will throw in ring box and typed up proposal notes for free.  PayPal account.  Will use money for electrolysis.

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