ChoiceBachelor: Hey there.

CndyLootoo: Hi.  I just got your email.  How long have you been doing online dating?

ChoiceBachelor: Oh, for a couple of months.  I’ve been matched to a few people, but it didn’t work out w/them.

CndyLootoo:  Ah.  I’m new to this site. 

ChoiceBachelor: Yeah, I know.  I like your picture.  Where was that taken, in Hawaii?

CndyLootoo: New Jersey shore.

ChoiceBachelor: oh, right.

CndyLootoo:  I was visiting a girlfriend of mine.

ChoiceBachelor:  Ahhh…so, you go both ways then.  That’s great.  When can we hook it up?

CndyLootoo:  No.  Friend that is a girl.  Bye.

 

 

CndyLootoo: Thanks for the nice email reply.  I got it after a long day at work and it made me smile.  i hope it wasn’t too forward of me to send you an email first.

BankerJoe: You’re welcome.  And, no, I don’t think it was too forward.  I like a woman who is willing to make the first move.  😉 What made your day so bad?

CndyLootoo:  just typical stuff.  My boss was breathing down my neck of a proposal, but he hadn’t given me all the stats yet so I couldn’t finish typing it.

CndyLootoo:  “for a proposal”  sorry-typo.

BankerJoe:  Why was he making you type his proposal?

CndyLootoo: well, bc that’s what I do.  I’m his assistant.  Executive assistant to be exact 🙂

BankerJoe: oh, I thought your profile said you worked in advertising, like an Ad Exec.  Not like a secretary.

CndyLootoo:  I guess I should have been clearer.

CndyLootoo:  Joe? 

<BankerJoe has signed off>

 

 

JazzyGeoff: What up lay-day?

CndyLootoo:  Hi.

JazzyGeoff: Whatcha doin tonite?

CndyLootoo:  nothing really.  I was working on organizing my bills. 

JazzyGeoff: whoa!  Cray-zay.  Somebody needs to get out more, chicky.

CndyLootoo: But you are on your computer talking to me on a Friday night.  You’re not out.

JazzyGeoff: I got plans later.

CndyLootoo: right.  I noticed that we are a 75% match.  That’s like a “C” in school.

JazzyGeoff: C as in casual, you dig?

CndyLootoo: How old are you?

JazzyGeoff: 45.

CndyLootoo: lay-ter.

 

 

R-Man2009: Hi, I read your profile.  You sound like an interesting person.

CndyLootoo:  Hi, thanks.  Sorry I don’t have a picture up.  I had to take mine down recently.  I’m looking for a new one to put up.

R-Man2009:  That’s ok. 

CndyLootoo:  So, what do you do?—sorry, I haven’t  had a chance to peek at your profile.

R-Man2009: Oh, well.  I am an attorney here in town.  I like to play tennis, go to movies, etc….I like dogs.

CndyLootoo:  I like dogs, too. 🙂 I never really tried playing tennis before. 

R-Man2009:  Maybe we could play some time.  I could teach you how.

CndyLootoo:  Yeah, maybe. 

R-Man2009: I see on your profile that you were married once before.  I was, too.

CndyLootoo:  Really?  So, how long have you been divorced?

R-Man2009: I didn’t get divorced.  She passed away. 

CndyLootoo:  Oh, gosh.  I’m really sorry.  How long ago, if you don’t mind my asking.

R-Man2009: um, it was 2 years ago.  She had been sick for awhile, so in the end it was almost a relief to know that she wasn’t sick anymore.

CndyLootoo: wow.  Well, it sounds like you’ve found some peace, that’s good.

R-Man2009: Yeah, and I’m not completely alone.  I’ve got Racer, my lab.

CndyLootoo:  Hey!  I had a dog named Racer, a lab mix.

R-Man2009:  Crazy.

CndyLootoo:  Do you have pics of him on your profile?

R-Man2009:  Yeah.

CndyLootoo:  hold on while I take a look…

CndyLootoo: ROB!  You idiot!  I am not dead. And you don’t play tennis, yo moron!

R-Man2009:  Cindy?

CndyLootoo:  “CNDYLootoo” !!!! Yes, it’s Cindy I can’t believe this.  What are you doing on a dating site?  What kind of tennis lessons were you going oto give me anyway?  Why are y ou telling ppl I’m dead??????  You’re sucha liar.

R-Man2009: I thought maybe it stood for “candy” well, what are you doing on a dating site AND you’ve never done yoga in the 15 years that we were married.  or liked Vin Diesel movies.  You’re lying too.

CndyLootoo: we are matched at 98%.

R-Man2009:  yeah, well that 2% that we didn’t match must be a hell of a 2%.

CndyLootoo: your screen name is stupid.

R-Man2009: you’re stupid.

CndyLootoo: how’s Racer?

R-Man2009: good.  He misses the house.

CndyLootoo: yeah.

R-Man2009: he prbly misses you too.  He seems kind of sad.

CndyLootoo:  well, I miss him too.  Give him hugs for me.  And make sure you don’t over feed him.  You always were overfeeding him and that’s why the vet got on me about his weight.

R-Man2009:  I know.  I remember.

CndyLootoo:  ok.  I have to go.

R-Man2009: yep.  See you.

CndyLootoo:  yeah, see you.

 

I dedicate this post to my friend, Kaitlyn and her “FireCracker69” comment she made today while giving me my glorious  hair cut.  Thanks, yo.

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