Dear Cashier Girl:


                You were my check-out cashier at the grocery store today.  You and your bracelets from wrist to elbow, frilly eyelashes and obnoxious giggles.   I realize that I and my last-year’s purse were not as amusing as Cashier Boy two lines over; however, it was entirely inappropriate to call out his name, harassing me with your braces in my face, to ask him, “Hey, is this like an avocado?”  It was a zucchini and I pray that you knew that because, after all, I do believe you have a driver’s license.  I hope that anyone operating heavy machinery would be able to tell the difference.  And let’s be honest, dear, he answered you by shrugging his shoulders.  And no eye contact.  Yet, you still smiled.  Your eyes lingered on his back and another giggle escaped the bars on your teeth. 

                I wanted to shake you.  I wanted to tell you to move on to my canned chicken broth, remind you not to bag the eggs on top of the loaf of bread.  I needed you to recognize that I had corralled all of my cold items in one section of my cart on purpose.  Logically, they should be bagged together.  Household cleaners do not belong with sandwich meat, young lady!  And, don’t stare at my 5 boxes of Gas-X as if you had just found Amelia Earhart’s last flight log.  They do not demand such attention.  And, yes.  I do use extra strength deodorant/antiperspirant!  Go ahead.  Run and tell all of your cashier girlfriends all about it.  Point and laugh the next time I stop in for a gallon of milk.

                The point is, Cashier Girl, I think you need to get your head in the grocery game and pay more attention to your customers.  Cashier Boy is not interested.  Don’t let him crush you like the neglected bag of chips that gets tossed to the bottom of the cart.  You are the shiny apple at the top of the heap.  You are the frozen cake that once thawed, a woman will pass off as her own creation.  Keep your eye on your shine and maybe quiz yourself on your fruits and vegetables just to be sure.



Non-Bloated, Sweat-Controlled Customer