Oh god is that Candice over there  don’t look at her shit oh shit it is Candice I hope she doesn’t see me maybe I look different enough from high school that she won’t know it’s me damn it all to hell what do I do if she comes over here and is that her husband it doesn’t look like Rick oh my god I totally forgot that Sarah told me she heard Candice and Rick split like 4 years ago he had an affair with a stewardess or a flight attendant or whatever the hell we’re supposed to call them these days he traveled all the time and that can’t be Rick maybe she’s on a date oh god if she comes over here I’ll have to introduce her to Phil damn damn damn we’re not five minutes into our meal and he already has lasagna sauce on his shirt why did he have to wear that god damn shirt to dinner tonight why couldn’t he have worn the blue button up shirt that I specifically laid out for him why did I marry such a slob ugh I’m gritting my teeth again if I don’t stop doing that Dr. Bancroft is going to make me wear one of those night guard things how expensive are those anyway I should have gotten my teeth whitened last time I was in there just spent the $300 and gone for it Phil would have raised hell and then we would have fought and then I would have that dream again where I stab him while he’s in the shower I think I stab him in the shower so that it won’t be as messy cause God knows I would be the one who would have to clean it up oh shit she saw me I saw her see me she looked and I looked f’ing looked right at her while she was looking over here SHIT she just waved  hi, how are you why do we do this why can’t we just ignore each other she is not interested in me or Phil god especially not Phil and why do we have to act like we care about this I’ve had two kids and she looks like she could still fit in her cheerleading outfit she’s coming over here my upper lip is sweating where’s my napkin damn it uuuuuuuuggghhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOOO  Crap.


“Hi!  Candice!  So good to see you….”