From the Classifieds:

OLD WESTERN COLLECTIBLES VERY NICE EXPENSIVE ART CLOTHES HANDGUNS

NO CALLS FROM NO GOOD CITY-SLICKERS 

 

Me: Sir, I am calling about your ad in the classifieds section about the western collectibles

Cowboy: Yes’m.

Me:  Well, can you tell me a little bit about what you are selling?

Cowboy:  I’m selling some old western art, cowboys and indian paintings and some hats I used to wear on the range herding cattle.

Me:  Oh, wow.  You used to live out on the range?

Cowboy: Where the deer and the buffalo play.

Me: Right.  What else do you have?

Cowboy: Some old hand woven blankets for keeping warm while sleeping under the stars.  Made by Native American women.

Me: I bet they’re beautiful.

Cowboy: Not really.

Me: Oh.  Well, can you tell me more about the handguns you’re selling?  Is that legal?

Cowboy:  Sure it is.  But they don’t work no more.  They’re just for looking at.

Me:  Well, why are you getting rid of all of this stuff, if you don’t mind my asking?

Cowboy:  Because there’s only room for one of us in this town.

Me: What does that really have to do with–

Cowboy: Me and One-eyed Curly need to be tending to our horses and not worrying over these greasy scoundrels coming in to collect a dollar.

Me: Oh, I see.  Well, times are tough.  I can understand needing to sell some things for the money.

Cowboy:  No lawman is going to tell me to give up my property!

Me: No, of course not.

Cowboy:  I need some whiskey and a woman. 

Me: mkay.

Cowboy:  May as well fill my belly with lead, young lady.  I’m done for. 

Me:  Oh, no.  I don’t think that’s true.  Come on now.  What about One-eyed Curly.  He would miss you, don’t you think? 

Cowboy: Yeah.  He would, I reckon.  Don’t know who would take him down to the saloon.

Me:  He must be a good friend.

Cowboy:  He’s the best dog I ever had.  It’s time to saddle up, boys!  No use in dressing up your horse, if you ain’t going to ride!

Me: Okay.  Well.  It’s been great.  If I find anyone looking for some spurs, I’ll be sure to send him your way.

Cowboy:  All right, then.  You can tell him that I got a box set of Clint Eastwood movies, too.

Me: No kidding. Okay.  Bye.

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