I feel like I’m constantly at the grocery store.  At 8 AM sharp, I was in the parking lot putting up my car’s sunglasses and preparing for another round of traipsing through the aisles.  After double-checking that I had my list, I headed for the doors.  And, almost ran right into them.  Exit=do not enter this side.  ENTER HERE:

Check.  Grab cart….grabbing cart…..pullllllling stuck carts.  Running over my toe. Good Morning.  Check. Flustered and passing the pastries.  Passing the pastries slowly.  Keep going.  Check.  Headed for produce.  Not impressed by produce.  Uck.  Fruit flies=skipping fruit.  Maybe bananas.  Picking through bananas, separating bananas into manageable bunch. I like to ate ate ate ayples and bah-nay-nays. I like to oot oot oot ooples and bah-noo-noos. Lalala. Check. BEEF. I should learn the best cuts of beef.  I don’t know what I’m looking at. Marble-darble fatty-fat. Mmmm…ground beef.  Check.  And Italian sausage.  Sale!  Yes, please.  List list list…check check check.  Pork shoulder for barbecue sandwiches.  Watch it, lady.  Please don’t run over me.  Beep Beep Beep.  Only this place would have a forklift in grocery store. Sandwich meat, bread, pasta sauce.  Pasta?  Cracker aisle.  Check.  Moving right a l  o  n  g.  Why did I wear these pants?  Check off list.  Check. Why do people push their carts down a packed aisle?  One can of beans is so heavy? Beans beans. Down further.  Ah. Baked beans. Check.    Keep going, almost there.  Off brand of Splenda.  Yes, just saved two dollars.  I am awesome. Check.  Cereal….ooh I want the sugary stuff.  Pick up bran + fiber.  Definitely old people cereal.  Next is milk and eggs.  Broken eggs, still broken, these are broken, too.  Finally, a good batch.  Put with bread.  Okay. List and check.  Need toilet paper.  Comparing toilet paper.  2-ply is how much?  The price you pay for decent toilet paper.  Dad always said, “Never buy cheap paper towels.”  I think that applies to toilet paper, too.  Done and done.  OH. MY.  I have to have that.  A cleaner’s caddy.  How smart.  For the up and downstairs.  Easy carry.  Yes.  Total excitement.  And then, realizing how lame.  Check. Hum hum hummmmm…checky checky…deodorant.  Must need.  It’s at the other side of the store.  Cart is getting harder to push.  I’ll just tuck it here and run get the deodorant.  Walking fast walking fast walking fast.  DEODORANT.  Right.  Now, do I want to smell like a baby or like a fruit or like a sea breeze.  I want to smell like a $1.97.  That smells just fine.  Walking fast walking fast walking fast.  Cart successfully undisturbed.  Pushing back toward cashiers.  Oh, the fun part.

Wait                       Wait                                       Wait.

Stack

Stack

Stack.

Scanscanscanscan.

Pay. Sigh. Thank you.  Have a good day.

Push to EXIT.  Check.

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