I am now officially a member of the http://www.ebay.com fan club.  I know it seems late to most of you.  You are probably a 10 year old boy who has been selling his older sister’s panties on ebay for years.  I had my first bidding experience just this afternoon. 

I will admit that I read through the bidding instructions page.  I didn’t want to accidentally bid $2000 on a doily or a cake platter.  I wanted to seem like I’d done this before.  A professional.  Someone who will not be duped!  I bid on some glass jars.   It was heaven.  AND, the seller provides free shipping.  That’s where they get you – in the shipping costs.  The item can be selling for $.99 and you’ll say, “OH MY GOD!  This object that I can live without but feel I really need is for sale for $.99.  It’s the best day of my life!”  The seller lives in Canada and it will cost $80 to ship.  Great. 

After placing my bid, I got an email from ebay.  “Hello, ebay.”  I said.  The email told me, “Alissa, you are the highest bidder.”  THE HIGHEST BIDDER, BITCHES!  Yeah.  Whooo.  Excited.  Now, I just have to wait until Aug. 3rd for the auction to be over.  Maybe I overbid.  Maybe I didn’t bid enough.  Maybe the real pros wait for all of the suckers like me to place our bids and then on the last day of bidding win the prize by a penny.  Bastards.  I should have waited.  I need those jars!


Also, because I know that you will want to click over to ebay as soon as you read this and get your bid on, there is “a stupid bent paper clip + Bonus my dog’s stinky URINE” starting at a $1.90 with free shipping.  Yep.