Facebook Status

Hmmm….What’s on my mind?  Maybe I’ll write a cliffhanger to drive everyone bonkers.  Something that will make my “friends” stop in their scrolling tracks and say, “Ah!  What’s happening to Alissa?” 

All of you Facebookers out there know what I’m talking about.  Maybe you’re even guilty of the mysterious status.  Here’s the thing, though: you have your close friends on Facebook and then you have your friends that you care about but don’t necessarily talk to on a regular basis.  And then, you have people with whom you are somehow associated.  If one of my Facebook Friends leaves a mysterious status, I am wrought with curiosity and sometimes worry.  Do I send this person a message and ask, “What’s wrong?”  What if we haven’t had a conversation in 10 years?  We just pass each other on the internet highway through the clogged Facebook tunnel, occasionally waving or sending each other an annoying application.  So, is it kosher to ask what the deal-i-o is in response to someone’s status even if we’re not close?  Is the point of the mysterious status simply to cause intrigue resulting in panic?

Here are a few examples:

Alissa Miles  sooooo surprised to find that on my doorstep!

Uh…what did she find?  A package?  A dead animal? A dead animal in a package?

 Alissa Miles   bad news from the doctor.

Oh geez.  Alissa, are you dying?  Is it malignant?  Did you get it removed, whatever it is?  Is there a dead animal involved?

 Alissa Miles  is so anxious about this.

Anxious about what?  What is it?  What’s happening?  Maybe she’s trying a recipe for the first time.  Maybe she has decided to take flying lessons or rob a bank.

 Alissa Miles  people can be so mean, I hate you!

Wow, she sounds pissed.  She’s normally so calm.  Who is she so mad at?  Is it me?

Alissa Miles  it’s burning.

Eck.  There are a myriad of possibilities for this one.  Maybe she shouldn’t share everything.

 Alissa Miles  he’s in the room…oh no!…someone….help!

Ahhhhhh!   Should I call 911?  Is this real?  Who?  Tell me who it is, Alissa!  Is it a dead animal?!

 Alissa Miles  …

Well, the mystery of her status is just going to eat me alive.  Either she doesn’t have the energy to type real words, cannot put a cognitive thought together but still wants to appear on her friends’ home pages or really has turned into an ellipsis.  Which is it????? Gah.


If you are going to post a mysterious status, please do a follow up that says something like, “I’m not dead” or “just kidding about that thing that I didn’t explain that made me sound psycho and everything is good now. Thanks.”