This past Thursday, the 17th, I turned 27.  Twenty-seven.  TWENTY-7.   I’m okay with that.  Really.  I’m fine with being three years from 30.  Peachy.  Honestly, I’m not worried about my outward appearance.  I have looked like this since I was 13.  I am used to it.  I am, however, wondering more and more about what I’ve accomplished in my almost 30 years as a human being who takes up space and leaves more than just a carbon footprint.  Here’s my list of things, “things” being very general and encompassing whatever I want:

  1. I kind of taught myself how to crochet from a YouTube video.  Kind of.
  2. I made a comeback as an average ability ice skater last winter.  The rink was very cold and full of bored teenagers.
  3. I am planning my first grown-up garage sale.  And, I’m truly excited about it.
  4. I got married.
  5. I traveled out of the country on our honeymoon, if you count Victoria, BC as out of the country and why wouldn’t you?
  6. I now file important papers like tax information because if I don’t The Hubbs may try to stick my face in the paper shredder.
  7. We got a paper shredder.
  8. I made big-girl decisions like quitting my job in order to be a happy person.
  9. I changed my name in order to reflect the The Hubbs’ possession of me.  For all you scoffers out there, I think he got the short end of the stick on this one, so don’t have a hissy.
  10.  I decided to get over my fear of my own rear in tight running shorts.  It is now everyone else’s problem.
  11. I graduated from the University of South Carolina with a Bachelor’s Degree in English and survived the grimacing faces of others who wondered how I was going to support myself on a humanitarian degree.  Hello!  See No. 4.  I also got a degree in This Is How You Gain 20 Pounds, This is How You Waste The 50 Bucks Your Grandma Sent You, and How To Invite Homeless People To Sleep In Your Car.  I am very educated.
  12. I already reached the stage of lactose-intolerance.  Whew, glad I’m not one of those ladies waiting a lifetime.
  13. I am willing to admit that I only watch the Baby Story episodes that highlight cute couples.  Is that wrong?
  14. I am doing my part to clog the internet highway with my ramblings and status updates via WordPress and Facebook.  Not ashamed, I tell you!
  15. I have written plays, stories, fiction and nonfiction.  I prefer fiction.  I like to make things up, is what I’m saying.  Unicorns are real!
  16. I was once in a pageant.  In high school.  I won the title of Ms. Senior.  Maybe I can reclaim the title once I’m over 50.
  17. I once waxed my own bikini line.  Never. Again.
  18. I now understand what a “deductible” is.
  19. In response to the overwhelming news coverage of “The Recession”, I asked The Hubbs why the government couldn’t just print more money.  Somebody had to ask, okay? 
  20. I am in a long-standing non-lesbian-esque love affair with Joan Cusack.  So, that sounds weird.  I love her in a non-restraining order kind of way, a non-sexual way.  I think she’s pretty great.  I also like slipcovers.
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