SCENE 1 The Living Room

Enter Alissa and The Hubbs carrying bags.

The Hubbs

Thou shall stay here whilst I pack the car.

Alissa

Makest sure thou packest my bag of books wherest I can reach them.  Oh, and my pillow, too.

The Hubbs

Right-o.

Exeunt The Hubbs carrying a few bags.

Alissa (to herself)

Ah!  To pack some snacks would be wise.  Markedly wise, I think.

(yelling out of the door to The Hubbs)

Come hither when thou are through.  I have another bag.

Enter The Hubbs

The Hubbs

Another bag?  Are you mad, woman?

Alissa

No, surely not!  Just hungry.  Here it is.  It is smallish, I do say.

(Sigh.)  Oh, how I love a holiday!  Give thanks in this November for all that we have.

The Hubbs

I’ll give thanks when we arrive at Edisto Beach.

Exeunt Alissa and The Hubbs.

SCENE 2 Edisto Beach

Alissa

Look, husband!  We are here!

The Hubbs

Get you inside, my wife.  We must carry on to The Pig (a grocery store called “Piggly Wiggly” for all you non-Southerners) and gather food fit for a feast!  But first, we must get all this crap you packed inside the house.

The next day…

Alissa lays prostrate on the couch with a washcloth across her eyes.

Alissa

Oh!  What bad fortune!  Husband, get thee to The Pig and buy me some Excedrin Migraine.  This head of mine will not stop torturing me!

The Hubbs

God be with you as I leave to go!

Alissa

God be with me?  God be with you, sir, if you don’t hurry up! Do not wander or risk exile.

Exeunt The Hubbs.  Black Out.

SCENE 3

The next day. The Hubbs is repacking the car while Alissa says farewell to Edisto Beach.

Alissa

Oh, Edisto.  Such a short time we have had, but it is now Thanksgiving day and we must venture on to Goose Creek and visit with family.  How I love thee, Edisto, and wish for longer days to spend with you. 

Enter The Hubbs holding his phone.

The Hubbs

My love!  My sister has given birth.  The child is born and we must hurry to spread the good news.

Alissa

How merry!  How grateful we must be!

Alissa looks longingly out at the beach.

The Hubbs

Ay, it is wonderful.  I love thee, wife.  Now, we must go.

I said, we have to go!  Get in the car!

SCENE 4 The Hubbs’ mother’s house.  Present are The Hubbs’ mother, two brothers, grandmother, aunts and uncles.

Enter Alissa and The Hubbs.

The Hubbs

How now, family?  We have arrived.

Family

Ah!  Hello!

Younger Brother (to Alissa and The Hubbs)

Prepare thy self. I am going to talk to you about football.  All. Day.

Mother

Did you hear the good news? Your sister and the new child?

The Hubbs

Yes, Mother.  That is why we have cell phones.

Uncles

Let’s eat.  A perfect feast awaits!

Alissa (to Younger Brother)

Thy knowledge of college football astounds me.  Perhaps we could discuss last season’s Project Runway. 

Younger Brother

Gah! 

Older Brother (to Aunt)

Then, soak it in butter and, if thou wishes, some beer.  I am the King of Fried Turkey.  My subjects bow down to me.

Alissa (to Grandmother)

Dearest Grandmother, I prepared your pumpkin pie recipe.  I hope it pleases you.

Grandmother

Lots of calories.

Alissa

Yes, well….I hope I shall not think on calories today of all days.  Your daughter is much too good a cook.

Mother

Alissa, dear, thou knowest my daughter has just given birth.  When will you and my son give me another grandchild?

Alissa

Oh, I say I do not know.

Mother

Just don’t wait til you get old.

Alissa

Right.

Younger Brother (to Alissa)

I can ignore you.  I can ignore anything.

Fade to Black.

The End.

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