I’ve lived in Durham, NC for about 3 years now.  And when I say “lived in Durham” what I really mean is “lived in a bubble that I hardly leave – oh and it happens to be located in Durham.”  So, the fact that The Hubbs and I are moving into a new bubble in Durham over the course of the next few months (that’s right, people!  We’re closing on our first home this Friday) creates a whole new geographical challenge for me.  We lived in Charlotte before moving up to Durham and I got lost for 2 hrs downtown about 3 blocks from our apartment.  I just kept shouting, “All the streets are ONE WAY!  Someone get me out of here!” 

When we moved to Durham, I learned where the nearest grocery store, gas station and shopping area were.  Oh, and how to get to work – back when I had a job.  Other than that, I had no need to drive on beltlines, loopdy-loops, six-lane roads, highways, underpasses or any other roadway that requires merging.  It’s not that I can’t do it.  I once had to drive myself from Dulles airport in DC to Philadelphia at night in the rain.  I can figure it out, if my life depends on it. 

The other day, I decided to go check out the new neighborhood and surrounding areas.  “Please, please let there be another store besides a Food Lion…”  I have GPS on my phone.  It’s the only reason I have a phone with internet capabilities.  The Hubbs insisted that I get a GPS system.  I think this is because he is concerned that I might end up in Kentucky by accident and then how will his socks get clean? 

GPS Lady: Turn left..in…20 ft.

Me: Turn…left…okaaayyy.  whoops…that’s, that was my turn back there. hmm.

GPS Lady: Recalculating….Go…point 2 miles…and turn left…and don’t miss it this time, dumbass.

Me: Right.  I mean, I will turn left at the next light…turning, turning….oh, crap.  This is an onramp for the interstate.

GPS Lady: I said go point 2 miles….recalculating…entering I85 South…because you’re an idiot.  Take the next exit.

Me: Geez.  You don’t have to get snippy.  Taking exit.  Okay.  Back to where we started.

GPS Lady: Now, go point 3 miles and turn left.  LEFT.  Turn left in point 3 miles onto Market Street.  MARKET STREET.

Me: Fine.  Market Street.  Got it.  Is there a market there on Market Street?  Oh, I would just die if there were a Freshmarket store on Market Street.  I could just live in that store, which would not be a good idea.  I would probably stick my whole head into the glass container of jelly beans or raid the baked goods and claim I work for “quality control.”


Me:  No!…I..you said left on Market.  You didn’t say anything about a U-Turn!  Crazy…stupid…phone with stupid and MEAN gps person.

GPS Lady: GPS is now unavailable.  Check your connection…

Me:  Fantastic.  I don’t see a Freshmarket.  Now.  How do I get home?

Here are some pictures from our trip to Ediosto Beach, SC.