I have a sore throat.  I have had a sore throat for two days with no other symptoms.  I must have swallowed a bird, who at the idea of being swallowed decided to push his little bird legs against my throat, digging in with his little bird claws so as not to go down with out a fight.  And now I am left with a scratched up throat and I’m burping feathers.  And because I couldn’t make the trip to the grocery store yesterday (because who goes to the store after swallowing a bird?), The Hubbs took my list and shopped for me so that we wouldn’t starve.

Me: Did you find everything on the list?

TH: Yep. Got everything.

Me: Great.  You’re the best.

TH: I decided to get different bread, though.

Me: What? Why?

TH: Because I saw another bread I wanted and like.

Me: You don’t like the bread I’ve been buying?  You hate the bread I’ve been buying.

TH: No.  That’s not even.  That’s not true I just like this bread…also.

Me: But what’s wrong with the bread that I normally get?  You could have said something if you don’t like it.  I’m supposed to guess?

TH: I do like the bread you’ve been buying, this bread has fewer calories.

Me: OH.  So, I’m feeding you fatty bread?  Fatty fat bread.  I’m not conscious of your nutrition? I’m not concerned about your health?  Your overall well-being?  Who was it that volunteered to make you a lunch every morning before you go to work so that you wouldn’t eat out everyday?  Me.  That’s who.  Who tries to have well-balanced meals ready for you when  you come home from work?  Me.  That’s who.  Who usually goes to the store and tries to make decisions like getting pretzels instead of potato chips, which is a hard decision to make by the way? And avoiding the cookie aisle? It ain’t easy, brother! I’M STUFFING CALORIES DOWN YOUR THROAT?

TH:  ……. 

Me:  It’s entirely possible that I’m channeling my frustration with other issues. 

TH: So, it’s not really bread we’re talking about here?

Me: Perhaps not.  But I still don’t think I like that bread.  Hug me.

TH: Okay.

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